Dragnet Drug Sting Nabs One Nip Head
|Boris and Whiskey on the day that started it all|
The story you are about to read is true, the names have not been changed to protect the innocent because these two are known deviants.
Catnip-the gateway drug. Dun-Dun-Duuuuun.
This is the city, Los Angeles, California 1969. It was September 12 in the midst of a heat wave like the city had never seen. Nepatia Cataria, street name Catnip, was rampant and feline hippies were losing control. The junk was going out all over the city and there was no way to stop it.
Whiskey Boy Jones, AKA pickle, the biggest dealer of nipie, grass, far out feline, catja, bad catcat,
or the ghost, was last seen in the neighborhood of Wilson Manor where a large
cat nip party was broken up by the narcotics division.
|Dealer Whiskey Boy Jones with a dime bag of catnip.|
At 4:20 p.m., one dosed juvenile, Boris, aka Little Clown, was found rolling on the ground, drooling and pawing at what were obvious hallucinations. Other nip heads fled the area—or as the kittens say were on a trip.
|Boris, AKA Little Clown, is now a hardened user.|
Heed the warning signs of your loved ones dropping catnip and take immediate action. Early indicators that your pet is hanging out with the underground culture is when words like the "yes sir and ma'am" are gone and in their place are "hey man" and "groovy."
Look for other alarming signs such as excessive purring, furtive glances at nothing at all, weird meows about time and space, and rubbing up against furniture, people, walls, and plants with a sexual openness the addicted call " the frisky revolution."
Boris was booked under the Health and Safety code 11350 for possession of a controlled substance. He made bail and is rumored to be back on the streets, but police assure us that more black and whites are on the streets patrolling for both cats.
"The subjects, Whiskey and Boris, are a danger to themselves and the rest of society," said Sergeant Joe Friday of the LAPD Intelligence Division. "There is a law against being in a highly intoxicated state or being under the influence of any drug or narcotic. If we see those two nip heads, we will drop the hammer on them this time."