Feline Fashion Week--Undressed

Fading super model Boris was ready to claw someone's eyes out after pictures were released internationally that showed the world his endless party days, his bad side, so to speak, in an expose about the seedy life of an aging super model.

Boris after a night of partying with bad girl Longhair Lohan

Boris was no longer the kitten with the skeletal body that designers loved to cover in material that weighed more than most of the heroin chic waifs on the runway.

At 1.5-years-old, with the flappy stomach flab to show it, Boris was struggling to keep his paws on the red carpet and his name on the in-list at clubs, restaurants and movie premiers.

After months of guzzling bloody mice and cat-mos, he was at the bottom of the litter box.

Boris, who once changed his name to ^^B to gain a new following of lollipop sucking hipster fans only to be referred to as "that cat formerly known as Boris" and then later changed his name to B Tiger when he claimed to be the reincarnation of reggae cereal giant Tony, was so washed up even the Church of Scientology wanted him out, and L. Ron Hubbard followers are known for being clingy and cultish.

One too many catastrophic events led Boris to the trendy rehab facility Promises in Malibu, California that boasts a clientele that includes gal pal Longhair Lohan, Bobtail Downey, Jr.,  Charlie Sheeba, Persian Hilton, and Britney Sphinx, to name a few who were known for having a few too many.

Hollywood doesn't always have a happy ending, isn't that why models are always pouting, but it looks like bad boy Boris has landed on his feet after this most recent fall from grace.

He is back in the life of luxury, modeling for powerhouse Calvin, of Hobbes fame, and insiders say the spotlight isn't far behind for this frisky feline. He was recently spotted in the pristine waters and magnificent beaches at St. Tropez on the French Riviera.

The in-demand again Boris keeps his troublesome tail in line

It looks like, Boris is the new face of Calvin's

Boris in St. Tropez modeling a sarong.

haute "It's Always Summer" line.   He joins the ranks of top Tom cats modeling those skimpy sarongs made famous by the once sexy rock-in-roll idol, Whiskey, roommate and mentor to the much younger Boris. While rumors fly that Boris binged and purged for days to fit into the sarong that he will wear while strutting with his tail held high on the catwalk during feline fashion week, Whiskey has seen better days.

Whiskey, once a super star is now a super slob.

The nights of wearing leather pants and doing hip-shaking dance moves appear to be a a thing of the past for the former rocker. Whiskey has battled weight gain since reaching middle age and spends most of his time at his expansive mansion, Tunaland, eating bacon/peanut butter flavored treats chased with banana shakes between naps. Whiskey is still beloved by many and is a favorite performer in Las Vegas. Rumors are that he is  in talks for the deal of a lifetime and perhaps beyond with Burger King. 

Join me, Boris and Whiskey during feline fashion week where the cat isn't the only thing out of the bag and nine lives are lived in one torrid hour. Remember, indifference and aloofness are HOT.

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