Work Photo Day Disaster

It was touch and go for a bit this morning, but alas I made it to work despite everything that could go wrong doing just that. Today is picture day at work. I get my picture taken twice a year, one for my press pass and one for the company Christmas card. As of the last two years, when I went to the sheriff’s department for the press pass, I didn’t show up in the photo. Either I am a vampire or something was wrong with their system. But, on to photo number two for the year.

Boris isn't not as stealthy as he thinks he is

Normally I arrive at the office in shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals, but since this Christmas card thing will be going out in droves, I decided to take a little extra time for makeup and all that crap. Naturally, I didn’t want to get out of bed any earlier, so I was jamming.   

I got out of the shower and hear Boris trying to climb through the window blinds, which is a big no-no that I have to say “no-no” to about 30 times a day. In fact I keep a squirt bottle next to my pillow for these occasions. I dart to the blinds without any knowledge that the little fur demon has knocked over the cup of water by my bed. It has a lid, but this is Boris, so a puddle of water is on the wood floor which causes me to careen across stopping only when I slam into the nightstand, which oddly enough sent Boris flying from the blinds.

Up next is face powder, which I open and then promptly drop on the floor, open end down, and poof it is all over the black rug I had just cleaned.

Whiskey in the sink, toothbrush underneath

While I am, trying to pick that up Boris strolls off with the makeup brush and Whiskey jumps in the sink knocking my toothbrush in with him. “Screw it,” I said “I will go sans powder.”

I jump into black pants, a black shirt and red boots, it is after all a Christmas photo. As I said so many sentences ago, I wear sandals all the time, so the shoelaces are a new source of play for Boris. That is 40 joy filled holes I have to lace the string through with a cat attacking every one of them. Yes, I am late by this time and run into the bathroom in my big boots and kick over the cats’ water bowl. 

Finally, I am ready to sneak out the door, I throw a toy for Boris and a treat for Whiskey, so I can escape without them getting out. Upon reaching the gate my mild OCD kicks in, and back I go to peer in the window to see that all the stove knobs are turned off. I didn’t use the stove that morning or the night before because I wasn’t even home, but you never know. 

I make it to the car after saying “off, off, off, off,” (one for each knob) and am ready to zip to the office. I put the car in gear and suddenly it hits me, my computer is still in the house. And, it begins anew.

I just know I forgot to lock my front door.