Boris' first Christmas, 2014.
Remember there is only a little more than four months to get your cat the perfect Christmas gift.
December, 2014
The miniature panther is an invasive species that is most
prevalent in the month of December. It is typically found in homes with
Christmas trees where it hunts the illusive ornament that displays the most
vibrant colors. The pesky feline often uses the tree branches as a form of
camouflage as it lies in wait for the slightest movement from its prey.
In other holiday news, strike up the band, Christmas time is officially here. Before
I begin, let me say that I am a big fan of cheese, and New York cheese is the
best. Every year for my birthday or Christmas, my parents usually send me a big
ass chunk of some cheese from a farmers’ market or an Italian deli or regular
old store. Packages are sent to Shari’s house
because my address does not exist in many ways when it concerns the city.
The Little Drummer Boy will now lead us into the Connie's Christmas package tradition.
The Little Drummer Boy will now lead us into the Connie's Christmas package tradition.
Ma (Connie) called last night: “A package should be arriving
at Shari’s tomorrow or Monday. Have her open it and take the two things that
are wrapped in aluminum foil out at put them in the refrigerator.”
At this point we both know what dairy delight is hiding behind the tinfoil mask, but the word cheese is never uttered to keep the illusion of surprise. One year she forgot to tell me that a package had a tinfoil treat in it. That cheese sat in the box with other gifts on Shari’s porch, in my car and on my kitchen table for more than a week. Nothing like pressed curd scented pajamas on Christmas morning. Back to the phone call.
Me: “Here’s the deal, Ma, the package arrived today and is sitting under my tree. Shari is at her house, where she lives.”
Ma: “Put the box in the refrigerator then.”
Me: “It’s kind of big. I would have to throw out a lot of food for it to fit.”
Ma: “Then open it without looking and feel around in the box until you find two things wrapped in foil. Put those in the fridge and reseal the box.”
Me: “Seriously?”
Ma: “Yes. I didn’t wrap the presents in the box because it takes up too much room.”
Hahaha she kills me. I did open the package without looking, which is harder than one would think because she also tapped the inside box flaps together in three places. There are now two huge tinfoil wrapped things (whatever they may be) in my fridge, and I’m still not looking.
At this point we both know what dairy delight is hiding behind the tinfoil mask, but the word cheese is never uttered to keep the illusion of surprise. One year she forgot to tell me that a package had a tinfoil treat in it. That cheese sat in the box with other gifts on Shari’s porch, in my car and on my kitchen table for more than a week. Nothing like pressed curd scented pajamas on Christmas morning. Back to the phone call.
Me: “Here’s the deal, Ma, the package arrived today and is sitting under my tree. Shari is at her house, where she lives.”
Ma: “Put the box in the refrigerator then.”
Me: “It’s kind of big. I would have to throw out a lot of food for it to fit.”
Ma: “Then open it without looking and feel around in the box until you find two things wrapped in foil. Put those in the fridge and reseal the box.”
Me: “Seriously?”
Ma: “Yes. I didn’t wrap the presents in the box because it takes up too much room.”
Hahaha she kills me. I did open the package without looking, which is harder than one would think because she also tapped the inside box flaps together in three places. There are now two huge tinfoil wrapped things (whatever they may be) in my fridge, and I’m still not looking.
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