Saints and Candy

Due to Boris’ rampage of destruction against all things Holy in my house, my mother sent me something to replace some of the nun, saint, Jesus and Holy Mother statues that the diabolical feline has thrown crashing to the floor.

This statue is from Our Lady of Fatima Shrine in New York. What did not come from there is the half eaten bag of Brach’s’ Maple Nut Goodies sealed with a rubber band that was also stuffed in the packing envelope. When I thanked my mother for the gift, I said, “Ma, what’s with the candy?”

She said, “I was eating the candy while I was filling the envelope, and thought that I had to send you some food, so I put them in there.”

This is a news account following the brutal murder of the fifth nun Boris is suspected of being involved in. Note he is on the shelf.

Another NUN gone, another NUN gone, another NUN bites the dust. It is believed a nun was pushed to her death from the fourth story of Bookcase Manor—a home for religious icons. Investigators say Sister Mary, a close friend of Mother Theresa, was found facedown on the ground last night at 1 a.m.

Detective Wilson said she is awaiting the results of an autopsy that is to be performed on Friday, in hopes that it will reveal more about how the nun died.  There have been numerous reports of members of the religious community living in peril due to a dark force neighbors refer to as Boris. Boris has been seen lurking around Bookcase Manor on several occasions. Reportedly there is an underground cat treat ring operating illegally on the fifth story of the building.

Police ask that citizens be on the lookout for Boris who is described as black, with short hair, yellow eyes and bad breath. Authorities caution that he is likely clawed and dangerous.

This just in Boris seems to have had a change of heart and was last seen cavorting with the Holy Mother. The fate of the nuns remains unknown.

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